I was in sales for over 10 years.
I can't tell you how many different kinds of sales trainings I was in where they taught me about the product, its benefits, how to tell a story about it and basically be a fast talking sales guy with a new pitch.
I found this approach to be worthless in the long run.
At the same time I was struggling in my personal relationships, with constant arguments about miscommunication.
A few years into my sales career, I learned a few communication tactics like active listening.
When I began health coaching, I learned Body Language and Conscious Language.
That was when my sales career skyrocketed.
But my passion was in Health Coaching.
In some aspects, however, all of life is sales.
Would you like to learn 4 simple secrets that will not only benefit your career, but all aspects of your personal life as well?
I'll take that as a 'yes'. 🙂
Here's the first one:
1) Listen. Really listen.
There is no greater compliment than actively listening to someone, and there is really no better way to understand somebody. Sales is 80% listening, 20% asking questions and articulating values. Apply active listening techniques to your interactions: clarify someone's statements by repeating what you heard or understood back to the person. Not only will you gain more clarity and understanding, but more importantly, so will the person talking to you.
One of the greatest gifts you can give somebody is 100% of your undivided attention, and it is immediately recognized.
2) Ask questions.
After years of experience, I realized that the art of sales had way less to do with what I said and way more to do with what I heard. The Fine Art of Communication. Deals are always won or lost simply by the quality of questions that you ask. One of my counseling teachers would also say the "The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask yourself."
Now, with my clients, I've learned to ask the tough questions, the questions people haven't been asked before, because I want to get to the root of the problem--the source of their emotional struggles. If I don't do that, than there are no real breakthroughs.
3) Choose or adjust your tone and energy.
There is also the art of building rapport. One day, early in my career, my manager stopped by my desk after I closed a sale and asked me what I had been doing on that call. I gave him a confused look and he said he'd never heard me talk so country before. I laughed. I am not a country folk, however I've been around them enough in my life to understand they enjoy conversation, they talk slower, and they're usually very nice. Whoever I'm talking with, I tend to communicate the way they do, match their tone, their energy, their speed.
You can create a rapport with another person as if you've known them a very long time.
On the other hand, you can adjust your tone or energy to diffuse a heated situation. In this case you don't want to match the other person necessarily. If you're fighting with your significant other, it's very difficult for one person to be yelling if the other never even raises their voice. You can bring every fight back down to a conversation by controlling your tone and energy. If they attack you, don't attack back, if they raise their voice, don't raise your voice back, and if you're hurt by what they said, don't hurt back. This is the higher road and the best way to resolutions.
4) Look at body language.
Examine the basics: what is your body communicating? The fact is you already know body language and probably a lot of it, but what you don't realize is the body is more likely to tell you how someone is really feeling more than their words are.
When you are able to read body language, it's like everyone you talk to is hooked up to a lie detector (in a good way).
Arms crossed = negative. Head shaking = saying 'no'. Eye directions = up left is memory, up right is creating. Foot tapping = anxious. Shrugged shoulders = burdens. Even little things like scratching their face or covering their mouth (holding back words)--it all means something.
Watch their head and listen to their answers. When somebody says 'yes', but their head says 'no', recognize that their subconscious doesn't agree and they're telling you what you want to hear. Your subconscious knows head left to right is 'no', so when their voice is saying 'yes' but their head is shaking 'no' it's a huge tell. If that's the signal that you get, ask more questions.
Yours in health, wellness and gratitude,
Think Great Lose Weight
FB - facebook.com/christopher.vanberg
"If you don't make time for your wellness, you WILL make time for your illness" -TGLW
Nutritional Empowerment - http://bit.ly/1LZNc6Y
Emotional Breakthrough - http://bit.ly/1hH4JUc
Body Language - http://bit.ly/1fZ4rH5
Power of Grocery Store Foods - http://bit.ly/1Qdzxb4
Smoothie Making - http://bit.ly/1O1X3sd